Some days....

...I feel completely like a dumbass.

It doesn't happen often but towards the end of the semester with about a million things looking me in the face, i feel like someone has written dumbass on my forehead .

This morning i was feeling extraordinarily good. I went to bed at around midnight, woke up at 6:30, alive and fresh to take on the world. It was the first time in weeks i didn't feel tired or reluctant to go to class. Of course i hadn't studied for my English quiz but waking up a little early allowed me to quickly go over the poems he had assigned.

I wore my favorite Led Zeppelin Tee with my lovely cardigan and converse shoes (and of course jeans) and headed out to face the world as if i was wonder woman: brave and strong.

That quickly faded at around 8:10 when my Non hot English teacher tells us that we aren't having the quiz i studied hard for. By studying for this quiz i totally neglected the other two quizzes i had today, which resulted in the walk of shame as i handed in my horrible quizzes to my chem Ta and Math professor.

I don't think I'm a dumbass. I know that i am smart, i mean clearly i am a smart girl. I like feeling smart which is why i was once/kinda/sometimes was drawn to Biology. It's suppose to be the smart thing, you are top shit if you can explain G-protein linked receptors. Or some crap like that. But the more and more i sit in these classes daydreaming about who knows what, the more and more i begin to question how smart(or unsmart) i am in some things. And that sucks.

It's a downer. After the math quiz Mike thought it necessary to tell me how many things i got wrong on the quiz. Our math quizzes aren't graded(thank god) but it's out of pure ego that you don't want to do bad on them. So he went on an on about the quiz, what i got wrong what he got right, and i began to feel even more like a dumbass. Then my chem lab had a quiz which i was totally unprepared for because i didn't think it was a big deal. That was until i walked into the room where everyone was studying diligently the IR graphs(don't ask i couldn't explain it to you.)

Mike talks about high school a lot , so much that i swear he would return in a heartbeat if it didn't seem so dorky and weird. I hated high school and the only thing i miss about it was that i didn't feel like a dumbass in high school. I was known as the smart quiet girl, and the only requirements were that i was kind of smart, quiet and a girl. But in college that just doesn't do it, because i can still be the smart quiet girl and fail a quiz and/or test miserably.

But i don't have time to wallow i have a biology exam tomorrow on...G-PROTEIN LINKED RECEPTORS. Go figure.

F*cking Mondays.