I mentally called a lot of people F*cktards today.
I try to keep the vulgarity down to a minimum but some days call for name calling expletives to make me feel a little better.
On Wednesday i met with my professor. Even though i knew i wouldn't totally embarrass myself in front of him i was still pretty nervous. I didn't really look over my paper, or have any concrete questions, it was just more of an attempt for me to have one on one time so he knows I'm not a complete idiot.
The meeting went well, even though i think he may be nervous around me. Someone was taking a test in his office when i showed up, so we had to sit in the hallway on this long chair. Though he is very personable in class, laughing with the students and cracking jokes, he made no attempt to do that with me. He just seemed awkward. He didn't even make any eye contact, for a while i thought he was addressing all his questions to the elevator. So i began starring at the elevator too, wondering if it was going to answer back.
It was as if we had a partition between us, or as if i was having a confession with a priest. Two hushed voices talking about Shelley's poem Hymn to Intellectual Beauty looking at the elevator. Perhaps it was because we were talking about religion, or maybe he's just a big shy dork outside of class, my mother would say it's because he wants to have my creative love child, but nonetheless it was an okay if rather awkward meeting that left me frustrated.
I try to keep the vulgarity down to a minimum but some days call for name calling expletives to make me feel a little better.
On Wednesday i met with my professor. Even though i knew i wouldn't totally embarrass myself in front of him i was still pretty nervous. I didn't really look over my paper, or have any concrete questions, it was just more of an attempt for me to have one on one time so he knows I'm not a complete idiot.
The meeting went well, even though i think he may be nervous around me. Someone was taking a test in his office when i showed up, so we had to sit in the hallway on this long chair. Though he is very personable in class, laughing with the students and cracking jokes, he made no attempt to do that with me. He just seemed awkward. He didn't even make any eye contact, for a while i thought he was addressing all his questions to the elevator. So i began starring at the elevator too, wondering if it was going to answer back.
It was as if we had a partition between us, or as if i was having a confession with a priest. Two hushed voices talking about Shelley's poem Hymn to Intellectual Beauty looking at the elevator. Perhaps it was because we were talking about religion, or maybe he's just a big shy dork outside of class, my mother would say it's because he wants to have my creative love child, but nonetheless it was an okay if rather awkward meeting that left me frustrated.
So today i head into class, and he was his jovial self again, which inevitably irks me because i got the awkward man on Wednesday. Surprisingly I am a very easy person to be around. At least that's what people tell me. Or what my therapist told me. She said i was a very likable person, and i;m beginning to realize that i am a likable person, when i open up to people. And technically i have been opening up to him via email and all i get is ....BLAH.
Today we got the test back that we took last Friday. I didn't really study for this test, because i am pretty good at BS-ing, and i spent the whole week studying for my other English test which was ten times harder. This exam wasn't that hard of an exam and i was expecting a pretty good grade.
As he called out names he gets to mine saying it with in whisper, I barely even heard it, that i just sat there for a moment until i was sure i had heard him correctly. I got an 88 on it, which wouldn't have bothered me so much if he didn't take off so much on my essay questions. I think the man is being hard on me, seriously. I believe he randomly marked off points that could have given me an A. I mean they perfectly addressed the question and were the only two answers i didn't completely BS and he marked points off, a lot of points. He was the first F*cktard of the day.
Then as i am working in the library shelving books minding my own business someone says "hey you". Usually i would ignore but he said it again causing me to turn around and see who was apparently addressing me. Some dude sitting near by at a table wanted to know if "this"(he says pointing to the air probably) is community service. I was very confused by this question. Was what community service, the library? Is it open to the community? Are the books Community Service?
So i say "what do you mean?"
Dude: Is this community service
Me: Is what community service?
Dude: This.
Me: I have no idea what you are talking about.
Dude: You don't know what community service is? (in a very nast tone)
HMMMM....going for the rude approach, wasn't expecting that.
Me: I KNOW what community service is, i just don't know what you are calling community service.
I then realized that he was talking about my job. There were about 5 of us on this floor pushing carts and doing what we are suppose to be doing. It can get a little loud because the carts are old and there is just no way to prevent books from falling all over the place. But our library does have four floors, giving you some place to find solace if you are looking to study. Apparently we were being a little loud on this relatively small area and to address his frustration i assume he wanted to blame it on us being community service workers. YEAH. Because as a contributor to society i make sure books are in the right place for the betterment of mankind.
Me: No it's a job that we get PAID to do. NOT COMMUNITY SERVICE. F*cktard(the last part i said in my head)
And don't even get me started on Mike. He comes into Math 5 minutes before class lets out and then calls me stupid for not paying attention when he asked me a question i didn't take notes on .
Some days name calling is just a necessity.
But in good news my dad called!!!!!
More on that later.
This picture makes me smile, i had to put it up.
3 comments:
I feel your pain...
i can tell you from experience that teaching is like a performance. being in front of the classroom is like being on stage, in character. it's always a little weird trying to figure out how to transition from your character ("Professor Awesome") to some one-on-one version of your character.
don't take his shyness, weirdness, personally. MOST academics, especially in the humanities, are socially retarded in one way or another.
Aw, I wish you had said f*cktard outloud! His question was so ambiguous and the nasty attitude was so uncalled for.
Post a Comment