A week from Tuesday i will be heading home...and I just realized that i don't want to go.
I woke up to hear my roommate packing her things, and the end of the semester became real. I'm heading home and I am absolutely dreading it.
I have slowly gotten over the Philadelphia thing, but i can't seem to shake my love of privacy here that will soon be gone. That i can wake up and go wherever i want, whenever i want without my mom and brother being there. I feel free here, i feel not locked up in a cage.
I am going to miss the freedom of waking up. The past couple of weeks just the action of waking up has been the best part of my day. I wake up to the fake tulips i have placed on my window sill, with the blinds raised so the shines on my face as i glance at the view of the trees from my window.
I'm going to miss Lifetime Saturday's, being wrapped up in my warm blanket sitting on this hard as chair wearing my trucker hat.
Mainly i am going to miss the silence. It never seemed more blissful.
I am actually anxious at the thought of returning home. My heart is racing and I'm trying to ignore the fact that i will have to leave soon. I haven't even started packing yet.
I'd much rather stay here. I don't want to go. I don't want to go.
2 comments:
you can come visit me in Pittsburgh any time. accommodations are free (I have a futon) and there are also cats to play with.
i have two porches and everything!
this time next year - you'll be graduating? can that be right?
so - last summer at home.
you can make it. i'm sure of it. just make lots of room and space and time for YOURSELF, not caretaking your family - go for walks, go for runs, go for wanders and reading in the park. whatever you have to do. but take care of YOU.
I understand.
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