Worst. Fucking. Headache. Ever.
I went to sleep last night at some god awful hour ( 4a.m) only to wake up at 7:30 to drag myself to work at 9.
I haven't worked an opening like this in a long time, and my sleep problems are not helping. If I was a medication person, I would go to target right now and grab some sleeping pills. It's come to the point where it that's bad. I don't remember the last time I had a good nights sleep. And it's beginning to take it's toll.
Of course the moment I get to work, everyone wants to talk about something that happened on Tuesday. That something being that Brad, funny ol' Brad, was fired on the spot yesterday!
I'm really getting sick of the bookstore. Some days we are so understaffed the customers want to jump on our computers (we don't have the self service computers) and locate the books themselves. I had the pleasure of yelling at one such person the other night. Who later came to apologize to me for using the employee computers but by then my bitch face was in no mood for apologies.
It's not even that we don't have the people at the store to cover the opening.mid and closing shifts. It's simply that our store manager wants to 'withhold' hours as much as she can. I don't know. It's a corporate thing. She is given so many hours to disperse among her employees. Less hours means less hemorrhaging of money. In close: we suffer with little to no hours, she wins because she is saving them.
We have lost 3 employees in the last month. 1 quit, 1 got a new job, and now Brad. Brad was funny. So he slacked off some days, and smelled like pot after his lunch breaks. But he was all into philosophy and did I mention the funny. The kid was hilarious.
I don't know the specifics. He called out on Monday. Came to work on Tuesday and was fire on his lunch break. The store manager was not a fan of Brad calling out of work so much. And with his 3rd write up in her hand, she saw no other choice but to give him the boot.
I am a mighty fine employee, but I don't like having to worry about having (or not having) a job tomorrow. I mean, I don't worry about this at all, but I feel that as a retail worker who makes minimum wage, this scare tactics of 'we will fire you' is...dumb. I feel like she made an example out of brad, because he, like us, is a young guy who is too smart to be there but who doesn't have anywhere else to go until things look up.
Retail. It's torture.
Out of this headache though I had a sudden gust of "i will make it" momentum going on. I don't get those feeling every once in a while, but when I do it's like there is some reminder telling me to keep going. Some little feeling, notifying me that I am headed in the right direction. Even when I feel like I'm not.
And oddly enough, Brad being fired urges me forward. I don't belong at the bookstore. Especially when our worth is reduced to hours and low pay.
Time for sleep. Or at least an attempt to. Please, all I asks for is one good nights rest.
2 comments:
our store is in the same situation - we now have, on the bookfloor, one bookseller and one manager for the last two hours of the night. one cashier. one person in music, one in cafe.
it SUCKS. i did it last night, and since the manager is a shithead who vanished for most of the evening, it was ME, alone, on the bookfloor.
this is all for the sake of saving our crappy $7.75/hour wages.
retail sucks ass. the thing that saves the bookstore for me is knowing that I can walk away any time, and that this isn't my destiny.
and I could run away to scotland, though Ireland has strong appeal to me as well.
(wouldn't that be amazing and insane? for us to just hop on a plane and disappear into the wilds of britain?)
insane? Yes. amazing? Absolutely.
I get these urges sometimes to just drop everything here, and disappear.
Nothing is keeping me in New York. My job is crappy, I can count my friends on one hand, and some days I feel stagnant.
I'm looking for an adventure. I'm looking to escape my life for a while. We could do it =)
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