Rainy Days.

Don't get me wrong, I love the sun. Sunshine is awesome. But after welcoming in spring like weather the last couple of days, I am excited for the clouds. The sun brings out too many people. The streets here have been filled with happy people, escaping their homes for the sun. And all I want to do is escape them.

I spent the weekend closing at the bookstore, only to run into groups of people hanging outside of bars and night clubs on my way home. No one likes to stay inside when the weather is so damn pretty. But despite my affection for the sun, I am reveling in these cold rainy days.

Yesterday it stormed something awful, but I braced the rain and winds to head to the library. I needed some new things to read, and outside of the zombie steampunk novel of my nightmares (I don't understand the purpose of this book. AT ALL) I got a few good movies to watch all day. I might have been the only person outside to brave the weather. It seemed like, on my way to the library. But I love the rain, and it never keeps me inside for too long. I just love the feel of the rain on my face. Love it.

When I was a kid, I use to use the bathtub as an island. We didn't have air conditioning, so in the summer when it got hot in our apartment...it got really hot! My mom worked long hours, so we couldn't always go to the pool or beach to cool off. So, I would fill up the bathtub with cool water, put on my bathing suit and spend hours pretending the bathtub was this exotic place.

I would submerge myself in the water, and sometimes (only sometimes) turn on the shower and pretend that i was sitting under a waterfall. I use to love the feeling of the water hitting my face, and then my breath getting caught in my chest because of the excitement.

It's embarrassing to admit that I do this now. And yesterday I walked with my head towards the sky, just for that feeling again. I miss that feeling.

I had a long weekend. I closed Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. My sleep kind of sucks these days, and even though I stand on my feet all night at work, I have managed to come home around midnight and lay in bed until 3 o'clock. At first I was blaming my daytime naps for my late night problems, but I've always taken naps. Since college and I refuse to blame them for my insomnia.

I am painfully thinking about everything these days. Grad School? No Grad School? Australia? Pittsburgh? Philadelphia? Publishing? Film making? Steampunk? Sleep? that at night, I can't seem to quiet all of the noise and just rest.

A days rest would be nice. And all this damn rain outside is making me pretty sleepy, in a weird calm way that I haven't felt for a really long time.

And I don't want to do anything, but sleep right now. Despite the consequence later on tonight.