Summer in the City

It has occurred to me that outside of the one week I plan to go home in July, this will be my first real summer in the city. Or in the vicinity of the city.

When I moved here almost two years ago the summer was pretty much over. And last summer I headed home pre-maturely and spent my days in my room reading books. But with my own place and subsequent free time, I realized that this is my first real summer here. I haven't spent a summer in new york since I was a kid and despite my issues with heat, I am an excited 24 year old with a big city right around the corner. Perhaps I will make this a summer to explore.

I am stressed out. I don't need to read (or re-read) old entries to tell that I am wearing thin. I can feel the stress in my body. I am all sorts of tense and out of whack these days because I am broke, without a job job and feelings of inadequacy and failure creeping into my thoughts often.

I don't have anyone to talk to about these concerns. Ever since the 'you're degree means nothing' discussion with Marie I call her on a 'I'm just calling to let you know I haven't died' basis. Which is around every 2 weeks or so. My mom is a patient mother. But as neurotic as I am, I don't need my mother to worry more than she does now. And it doesn't help that I also feel guilty because financially she is helping me out here.

But I am trying. I am leading my life the best way I can, given the circumstances. And I hate feeling stressed all the time. When I'm not thinking about jobs, I'm thinking about loans. When I'm not thinking about loans I'm thinking about jobs. This doesn't leave much time for anything else. And I fear soon I will be carted off in a straight jacket.

In trying to stay as optimistic as I can, I remembered all the cool things I could do this summer, outside of worrying about...life. I mean I still have rent to pay, and a job to secure but I don't want to waste my whole summer worrying about it. It seems like only yesterday I was walking around the Museum awe-struck and in one of the best moods I've been in for a very long time. And even if I can't do something every week, I would love (love) to continue planning adventures for myself this summer, in a pretty amazing city while I can.

So here are my tentative plans:

Sandwiches Anyone?:

There was an amazing article in the New York magazine about sandwich shops in New York. This city is filled with places serving up some mighty fine (and meaty) sandwiches. After every excursion (thanks to my job as a gofer with Lenny) I would grab a sandwich to appease my stomach. I could eat them every day if I had to. I love mayo, I love turkey and fresh lettuce will be the death of me. Luckily, I live in a city known for it's sandwich's and pizza. So when I stumbled across New York magazines list of 40 or so amazing sandwich shops and specials from Queens to Soho, I was floored and hungry. So, I won't be able to go to each and every one but as a lover of food and a fan of writing about senses, in this case the amazing one of taste, why not plan a trip around the city eating some pretty good food while documenting the awesomeness of it. I have to plan my day around the spots and sandwiches I am willing to try (anything featuring fish is out. I hate fish) but it will be a fun and interesting summer excursion.

High Fidelity:

Ever since I briefly saw John Cusack as a late 20's- early 30's audiophile in High Fidelty, I have been obsessed with dingy record stores. Or better yet, cute boys who work in record stores who know more about music than dare I say...moi. My musical knowledge is still developing. I have matured since the years of The Backstreet Boys and Christina Aguliera. But for every Smashing Pumpkin there is a Jennifer Love Hewitt album somewhere in my closet. And it just ain't cool folks. I'm getting better though. I like what I like, but continue to want new music to fill my ears. And since discovering the awesomeness of record players when I was 18, listening to Lp's has become a listening experience that trumps all else. Unfortunately I have been unable to find any dingy record stores here, where the guys ramble about musicians I never heard of and the Lp's are dirty and awesome. If I could manage to find one (or two or three) of these places this summer to buy music and maybe meet a cute record store boy...well then there you have it.

Monet? Oh, you meant Manet. My Bad:

French Impressionist? Modernist? And those damn Renaissance artists. Yeah, yeah. No big surprise here. I do want to mix up going to the huge spots (the Met, Moma) with some smaller galleries. I love art, not to the point where I am a snob, but to a point where spending a few hours staring at a painting, photo or sculpture is my idea of a good time.

Hidden Places:

Give me a vintage store with an old school goonies t-shirt or a thrift store with cool trinkets you cant' buy at target and i'll be in heaven. I kind of just want to get lost in NYC, and somewhere along the way find myself. If that makes sense at all. There are some wicked awesome parks I have never been too, and places that I just want to stumble across because of fate. Be ot reading the C train downtown or catching the 1 uptown. I just want to travel and explore all the hidden crevices of this place.

I have the whole summer to myself. And at least a couple of days to spare. For the most part I will explore by myself but a friend from work says she wants to try the sandwich thing with me. We'll see. Tentative plans. I do hope to put these in motion. I do.