Time Flies.

Oasis released another greatest hits album today (seriously, oasis. You sort of hit your peak in the states circa the 90's. I can't name an oasis song to date that hasn't come off What's the Story (morning glory) or Definitely Maybe. And two greatest hits album featuring a track list of the same songs is well...unnecessary) which made me very nostalgic about my childhood.

Appropriately the album is called Time Flies, and because of this release I went on sort of an Oasis binge today. It was great.

Adults aren't lying when they harp about cherishing your youth. It is one of the things we will never get back. I will never be 12 again, or 16 or hell, even 23 seems like a lifetime ago. And even when I look back at those years, reliving the beauty and misery of it, I am filled with sadness because I won't ever be able to experience it again. Nostalgia is a double edge sword, which reminds you of the good old days while the clock ticks next to you.

I have had my fair share of days when I wish I would have enjoyed certain ages a lot more than I did. 16-18 were dreadful. I was an antisocial, introvert who was too perceptive for her own good. My high school experience lacked the corny and terribly cliched moments I now wished they did. I didn't even take my senior portrait out of anger and general lack of interest. But, I look back now and realize I had all the opportunities to have an exciting time then, if I had spent more of my days being 17 than wishing to be anything but. I don't regret my time, that would be too self deprecating but I do wish I would have spent more time in the moment than trying to move on so quickly from it.

Time Flies. No matter how hard we want to stop it in it's track. And a part of getting older, for me anyway, is accepting this universal fact. Or more honesty, not being afraid of this universal fact. I wouldn't go as far to proclaim a Carpe Diem mantra here, that is too cheesy. But I do want to enjoy being whatever age I am, at the present moment. Cause I'll only be 24 once. In ten years even this age will seem incomprehensible to me. Being this young will feel like a dream.


And the older I get the more I am dying to be young. I am dying to embrace my twenties. I am dying to be impulsive, and flighty. To enjoy the randomness that comes along with trying to be a person. I feel like that's what your twenties are all about. Chaotic yes, but from that something---I mean someone--- is born.

A couple of weeks ago I was dragging myself around work, depressed out of my mind about everything. Work, the job hunting front, the new people, the old people, my sense of desperation. It was horrible. But through that I remembered something I had seem on a networking site I joined a few months back. This website gives me limited access to the companies I am interested in working for. BBC being one of them.

On the BBC newsletter they announce new employees, and the credentials on one employee,who is around the same age as me, was pretty...fantastic. Apparently she spent a good year overseas to understand international programming. Not only European but the Asian market. Thanks to that glimmer of insight I thought, 'hey, why couldn't I do the same thing'. I'm young, I have the time to do it, and I the love the BBC.

At first this appeared like one of my 'ideas' that sound better in my head than in reality. But damn it all to hell people, there are program of this nature suited for people like me who lack experience in an industry that treasures it. The reason why I am interested in doing this abroad is because I am amazed by UK programming. The shows are brilliant, and witty and funny. Their shows are iconic and imaginative. I catch myself these days watching Dr. Who, Torchwood, Survivors, The IT Crowd in awe of the writing and the representation of the diverse culture there.

The production schemes are lengthy. A year or more depending on which company I apply to. But it's a combination of real world training with learning aspects too invaluable to pass up. I could attempt to find a program like that here but even the one with NBC is tailored to entry level candidates with graduate degrees and previous production experience. The ones in the UK are tailored for people who want t a job in film and television but who have not been able to get one.

I wish I would have known about this sooner. As of today most of the sessions are just now starting, which means I will have to wait a few months until one of these production schemes open up. But in that time, which I will spend learning everything I need to know to be a successful applicant, I can obtain my passport and get a clear understanding of this work visa thing.

If all works out, I could have a legit (seriously legit) experience working overseas, learning and working in an international setting. Could you imagine.

This is the first time in months I have felt 'on' to something. This is the first time in months I am confidant this could work out. And yeah, I still have to figure out how I can afford to travel (or if I can get sponsored by the company in regards to this visa issue) but this is the thing someone my age does, right? This is something I would and want to do.

And can you imagine what I will see and subsequently write about abroad! The schemes are divided into four month department training (radio, production, research) which are located in Manchester, London and Scotland (Scotland!). Travel expenses are paid for to the various locations, though boarding is on me. But it doesn't matter, because time is flying. My experiences will continue, of course, but time is whizzing by. And I no longer want to to feel a sense of emptiness when I look back on my life.

So I'm am working on being UK bound. And not in the daydreaming sort of way (though my thoughts are invaded with British accents as of late). I am preparing myself and my application (visas, scheme placement requirements, passport) in advance so that this will work out. I'm extremely excited and scared, but completely sure this is something I can do.