Safety in Numbers

Moving forward I have to remind myself not to engage (or attempt to engage) in arguments on the intervwebs.

This is going to be hard because I am not going to lie, I have been very tempted to voice my oppositions these last 24 hours but I want to continue spreading a message of unity and safety (even though I've wanted to gut punch the universe).

Outside of Instagram and Facebook I have stayed away from the news (though I just received a text from my mom about the protests going on around the country). It's not that I want to be sad in ignorance but I am trying to come up with a plan to help "us" best move forward and the news distracts me from that message.

By "us" of course mean everyone. Not just tiny, plaid wearing, combat boot steeping self. I mean all of us.  But even this is hard to do when the message I want to push forward isn't on the same page with the anger, frustration and of course violence that is occurring at the moment. Or the silent, passive, acceptance to juxtapose the latter.

I had to hold myself back last night from responding to what will be the most frustrating aspect of this post-election shock: silence and passivity. Unless you are a racist, sexist, misogynist who actively voted for Biff because of the racist, sexist and misogynist campaign he ran...do not tell communities of color, or women, or lgbtq individuals, or immigrants or Muslims or environmentalists, or poor college students or whomever is freaked the fuck out right now to "accept" what has happened and be quiet".

There is nothing more infuriating then ignoring the concerns of people who have been targets of discrimination and bigotry before, during and after his campaign.  It's like watching your neighbor's house burn down and telling them to "be quiet"  as they are visibly distressed and in need of help. I am that neighbor right now. My house is burning to the ground and I am freaking the hell out. So if I am telling you that I am scared and in need of help, validate my fears and offer assistance. Do not silence me. 

Last night I made the mistake of surfing Facebook and came across an old co-woker who posted this to her page:

Seriously the election is over. Whether you agree with Trump or not, he is who won the election. I'm tired of the only thing I see or hear about is the election. I get it that a lot of people are pissed but...

I just want to see posts of puppies and food again...

                           Or holidays. It's 2 weeks til thanksgiving and like 6 til Christmas. That's just insane.

No. Just don't. Please don't. That is not what we need or should hear right now. I am glad there are people who live in a bubble where they some how feel they will not be affected by Biff's presidency but those people are a very very very small minority. They may go down in history as the only minority group that doesn't have to worry. But the rest of us, the rest of us are scared and despondent. The rest of us feel without hope. The rest of us are watching our backs awaiting something bad to happen. As a human being, please hear our screams and feel the warmth of our tears and empathize with us right now.

Do not tell us to focus on puppies and food and the holidays as to not ruin your privileged existence. Do not. That has, so far, been the only moment I have felt physically angry these last few days. I mean of course I have seen the posts about people dealing with sadist racist and sexist and xenophobic hate  since Tuesday. Of course I watched the video of children chanting "build that wall" to their Mexican classmate. Of course I viewed the image of college students adorning black-face on snap-chat with a confederate flag in the background.  I have seen it and I am appalled but not shocked.

What shocks me is that more people are not openly offering their assistance, patience, empathy and solidarity during this time. What shocks me is the silence. It is so silent everywhere I turn. And it's disheartening because I feel so small and tiny. I don't know at this moment how much support I am capable of providing.

The other day I reached out to some Facebook group and asked if they needed any volunteer help. You would think the word volunteer would suggest that I am willing to help out without getting paid. The response I got back was "We commend your ambition and desire to help but we are not actively hiring at the moment. Right now, you could try and help us get more likes on our page and we'll keep you in mind when an opportunity does arise".

Facebook likes? what the what.  I was willing to hand out pamphlets, lick envelopes, print copies! I don't want to recommend a page for other people to like. What good is that. How does that help the helpless. My response back wasn't so diplomatic but I was frustrated and tired and at a loss. I want to help but how? And what will be the most useful (and productive) form of assistance that I can offer.

Right now wearing a pin of solidarity and unity is my first step. I want to make sure that everyone who has been a target of Biff's rhetoric knows that they are not alone and that I am a person who will go out of her way to help. We have to reject the divisive language that got him elected and the best way to do this is to shut it down if we see it or hear it. I am most serious about this. I have yet to encounter a situation where I have heard or seen something but I am on the lookout for it and plan to reject and challenge it head on.

I also think (as proposed by my cosmic twin) that there needs to be designated safe zones/places that vehemently reject racism, sexism and discrimination and will protect or defend anyone who feels threatened or scared. I was proud as hell to see my local rock climbing gym send out a Facebook message designating themselves as a  safe place for all individuals. This inclusiveness and unity is the reminder we need that people will not tolerate intolerance. I can only also hope people themselves can also carry and spread this message.

If you see something or hear something do something.  Be there if your black or brown friend is afraid of walking home alone. Be there is your gay or Muslim or immigrant friend doesn't feel comfortable in their classroom or out in public.  Defend any women who experiences vulgar sexual advances by some prick who thinks his ownership of a dick allows him to behave like one. I understand the protesting and the disbelief that is going on right now but I'd hate us to lose focus. I'd also hate for us to forget that hundreds of senators and congressmen and local officials have our backs and can't sit by and watch bad things happen around us without saying and doing something. Our main focus should doing the same but on a small and more local scale.

I am going to spend most of the weekend trying to organize my thoughts and turn some of these things into concrete initiatives. I don't even know if my small attempts will make a difference to anyone but I will definitely try and keep trying. We owe it America to give Biff a chance to prove all of us wrong. We also owe it to America to hold him and everyone accountable if he slips up or fucks up. If he fucks up, I am allowed to call him on it. Don't silence me. Stand with me, be patient, listen and help me help us move forward together.