Social Butterfly?

I am flipping exhausted.

I mean I don't know where the time goes.

I'll tell you where it all goes, being around people all day, sucks the time away.

I am not a social butterfly.

Never have been. I mean I'm more of a social squirrel. I'm in and out in a New York minute hoarding all sort of goodies as I scurry. That's what I do. Generally people exhaust me. I mean they are tiring, they have their own business that they incorporate into your life which seemed simple at first. Of course you don't realize the pleasures of your life, before it begins to evolve before your eyes.

I have been hanging out with Kay about every other day, people have been talking to me in classes(not that I try to continue on the conversation beyond "hey"), and I think me feet are just taking me where I have to go, because most days I don't even remember. The week seems to be flying by, and I can barely find the time to just...I don't know, read a book.

I don't know...I do enjoy the down time. A LOT. I mean I complained about it before, but I'm just not the girl who always has to be doing something, I see nothing wrong with a little day in bed, pajamas, remote control in one hand, and my other hand in a box of cereal. That's the way I grew up. When we lived in the yellow house, my grandma would make breakfast, and all of us would run downstairs with a blanket in hand, camp up in front of the TV, and chow down on some pancakes.

I have carried that into my adult life. Geez, I'd be in pajamas right now and in bed, if all this homework wasn't looming before me.

In high school I was in Speech club(go figure) and we had a speech competition. It lasted the whole day, and after a stop at the mall, we didn't head back home until like 11. Everyone was on the bus talking, and having a good old time, and I was slumped against the seat, napping. The hot speech teacher, thought there was something wrong, but Marie just informed him of my not being a night person. Once we returned to the school for our parents to pick us up, I ran off the bus barely saying goodbye, and collapsed in my brothers arm, who literally was the first one waiting there. He knows my sleep habits, and literally drag me into the car, and then we headed home.

I am not a creature of the night. Unless you have a cup of coffee in your hand to give to me, expect me to fall asleep wherever we are. I don't care if there isn't a seat, bed, chair, I will camp out to get some shut eye. And don't try to wake me, because you will just end up carrying me home.

It's not that I don't enjoy hanging out. I would be a fool to say that. I do enjoy it. Everyone needs social interaction to be happy( I learned this from the Sims. The things to make the Sims happy, or they will flip out, are: Food, Fun, Sleep, Going to the Bathroom, Hygiene, Comfort, environment, and Social) in a sense. I just need small doses of it. In the past week I have been dragged around campus buy Kays crusade to "get me involved", I have been to club meetings, out to eat, helping her(and actually making sense of it all) math and biology, and am going to an Opera on Saturday. AN OPERA.

I'm not a girl who likes routines in most aspect. But something are just sacred. Like my trek to Subway every other day. I walk in, order the same sandwich, and then head back to my dorm. Not now friends, since Kay is a social butterfly, she conversates with the people who make my sandwich. I'm all out of whack now ask me questions about why I get the same sandwich everyday. I'm not Jared the subway guy, I'm not trying to lose a buttload of weight and start doing annoying commercials. I simply like Turkey sandwiches.

I feel like I just need a day to recuperate. To catch my breathe, to take it all in. I was going to take a retreat into the real world, and then I remember that this is my retreat. It like when George said that life is the vacation and death is the 9 to 5 (don't quote me directly, it probably was said entirely different).

I think life, work, school, people are so stressful in general, we need those things that remind of how pleasant it is. For me it's being alone for a while. Not even a long while, a day or 2, to sit in my room, with my old grandpa pajamas with the hole that I had to sew up, it was freaking me out. Do you guys need to breathe or something down there it's gross

(me and Marie had a completely awkward car ride home, and to us awkward is funny because we aren't weirded out about it, about the whole "hole" phenom. Girl pj's are like uncomfortable and expensive, and usually involve lace that make me feel like I should be standing on the corner of a street, instead of sleeping. Boy pj's are comfortable, you can walk around with them any where you please. My only problem is the hole. I feel weirded out by the whole purpose of the "hole", are guys really that lazy, or maybe it's just convenient. Whatever the case, whenever I buy boy pj's I beg my mom to sew them up. I have no purpose for it.)

In wake of all this social interaction, I am surprisingly learning more about myself and my family.

I always complain about my family I amused we were boring, because my mom liked to do things like take us to the library instead of an amusement park. But in talking with Kay I am surprise that she actually seems to enjoy all the stories I tell her. Like that they are actually interesting and funny. I forget how fun my family can be sometimes. I mean not in that "oh we see each other every Christmas way and have a grand time" but that when we do see each other(this is including like my dad, aunts, cousins, and such) it's like there is a magic. Like even though we are total opposites in personality, we enrich each others lives by the laughter we share.

Today, after an exhausting day being drag around, I couldn't help remember all the good times, that we laugh about. (my mother is going to kill me)

The time my grandma fell through the stairs and yelled "OH LORD!!" , before cursing those out around her who were trying to help and laughing at the same time(this was before I was born, but still funny)

Or last summer when I dared my mother to lick the electric side of the square battery, after my attempts at telling her she was going to get shocked went ignored. 15 minutes later, after she picked herself up off the floor, and I stopped laughing enough to help her, she believed me

Getting lost in Central Park for hours waiting with a man with a trach in his next explaining why we shouldn't smoke(hilarious guy) until mom and James reached the other side of the park to get us.

Going to Baltimore to see the Orioles play against the Mets, and initiating the wave so many times with a group of friends, that we got more eye rolls in one night then needed(this was n junior high).

Sometimes I just forget all the stories I have to tell, and in some way I'm glad they are full of more good memories than bad. Or at least I should start focusing on the good one's than just the bad one's.

I mean most of these involve family, but it's good to have that to go through life with. That even though they drive the hell out of me, and why argue more than need be, and there has been tears shed every summer... if I can remember that my brother drunk raw egg out of a cup because he thought it would give him muscles, are the things I'm kind of glad I have to share.

I'm pretty tired, after being dragged around all day. The social butterfly is just not me. My mom says this is what people do. Well I would advise people to do what I do best, what I will probably do tonight.

PJ's
Channel Surfing
Daydreaming
homework
Sleep to dream

I had two dreams last night one involving Art boy the other involving Nicholas(or "N" as I often refer to him as ). Nicholas brother is an actor(whose name I will not be disclosing) and when I catch him on TV on the rare chance I get a) freaked out b) happy to see a familiar face c) sad cause Nicholas pisses me off d) wondering where he is. The one with Nicholas was better though. Art boy was wearing a stupid paper bag over his head and a gorilla suit.

Don't ask.