I'm too excited to sleep.

It's like the night before my trip to Baltimore. I was so excited that I couldn't sleep and then showed up at my school 3 hours early.

I only have one class today, which also makes the wait horrible. DAMN IT. It's my English discussion class. I would like to apologize to Charles Dickens. I actually like Great Expectations, it's like 10x better than Jane Austen and her Pride and Prejudice Bull.

Pip is an interesting character. He kind of makes me mad. He's so ready to be a Gentlemen so he can get some girl that is unattainable, and he leaves all the good aspects of his life behind. Like Joe and Biddy. Which is confusing because he's an orphan. And don't oprhans value some family structure. He's so blinded by his "great expectations" that he can't see what lays before him. And that he will just end up alone because he has totally eliminated his past in face of a future that isn't as glorious as he thinks it is.

Poor Pip

I had another dream about Dream Boy. This was the boy who may have sniffed me in that other dream oh so long ago. This is his second show up in my dream, don't know what is trying to tell me. From what I can remember he has a shitty relationship with his father, he's consumed by it. He's ashamed by it. And when I went to talk to his father, at a store he had owned(his, Dream Boys, friend came with me) there was no mention of my Dream Boy. The father talked about all his other sons*from his current marriage), but didn't mention my Dream Boy. But surprisingly I liked the father, I thought he was personable, until he got word that I was Dream Boy's girlfriend and I was kindly escorted out of the store. Dream Boys friend was also upset with me, as if I was stirring the pot more than I needed to.

Later any attempts to console my Dream Boy were ignored by him. He kept pushing me aside, not letting me help him. And he left the apartment. Sitting in a dense field of abandoned junk, holding his head in his hands. I woke up with that feeling. As if I felt what he felt, it carried it's way out. And it was like "he's a cool guy on the outside, he even has a lot of friends, he even willing to give out so much love, but behind his eyes there so much hurt. There so much abandoned, so much that he doesn't know how to receive the love back, and is willing to let me go just so he can avoid feelings." weird huh.

But I can't think about that dream now. Or Dickens. I can only think about my trip. And my iPod(Kbryna just got a Nano,CONGRATS, I have been contemplating getting that one instead of the other one. Let me now how sweet the nano is). If anyone has some song suggestion, please let me know. I just looked at my iTunes Library and realize that the music ranges from music when I was 13 to now. I feel a little worried buying a 300 dollar iPod that carries like 7,500 song, when a majority of the songs I have I don't listen to. I mean M2M is in my iTunes. If you don't know who M2M is, be glad. They royally suck, and was played a lot during my Junior High Days.

I have to get new tunes. Am in desperate need for new tunes.

Have a good break. I know I will.

Beckett

P.S HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM. Not that she reads this, but still.