Dear Mike....

You are the worst friend i have ever had. I don't understand what makes you a complete and utter asshole to me, or better yet why i continue to subject myself to you and your judgements.

I have known you know since february, when i think we were both eager to make a friend. Coming into college halfway through is hard enough, trying to make friends is even harder. Out of pure circumstance and having 4 out of our 5 classes together, we formed this friendship based on not wanting to be alone.

Soon after i noticed that we were just two different people and if things had worked out differently i am certain we wouldn't be friends. I hate being judged everyday. I hate being analyzed, and degraded. I hate that i dislike you, and i can't see any good in you as a friend.

I think you are a phony. Coming into to class and talking about how what i like is stupid, but minutes later if someone says they like the same thing, you will jump on the concept like an idiot, and pretend it is you who liked it first, you are a hypocrite. You didn't even know who AT THE DRIVE IN was, so putting it on facebook to draw in friends, when hours later you said how stupid my music choice was, is wrong.

You talk about your problems is if they have some depth to them. You who drive a new porsch, and remind me that i don't have many friends, and who tells me that i don't have a life, yet show me these marks on your skin to somehow prove that you have more problems than average people is stupid. Do you know pain? Do you know how it feels to just be completely alone sometimes, and to be misunderstood, and...

You call me a bitch one more time, and i'm going to slap that stupid hat off of your head. You talk about how i don't have morals one more time, and i'm going to throw your ipod out of the window. And if you send me to my room one more time biting back the tears than your nice porsch is going to be completely and utterly trashed. Just as you are doing to your life, and my sanity.

I don't need you questioning who i am. I need a friend. Someone who i can come to when i'm down, not someone who makes me feel like crap when i go back to my room. Don't tell me that i'm not going to do anything with my life, and will be a bum. You who cares nothing about school and still lives in a high school mode, talking about how great it is. I work my ass off, trying to make good grades, be a good daughter, and try hard to be a good human being who doesn't pass judgement on people....but you my frined are an Asshole.

I don't know what in my past life i did, to deserve you as a friend. But this isn't going to work. I wish you, your porsch, and your ipod a nice life without me. Because i would wish no one the torture you have put me through. I dislike so much, to the point where i dread seeing you, and before i say something i don't mean, this has to end.

We can't be friends anymore.
B/c friends don't treat friends, like you treat me.

Beckett A. Hughes

(the letter i wish i could send to Mike. I'll write another post later, i just needed to rant for a while)