So I desperately need some advice. DESPERATELY.
As you know, I am in a pre-med club. It isn't one of those huge one's, we are the smaller pre-med clubs which is more like trying to help each other out, rather than the big fancy ones which organize speakers.
I got recruited by Kay, who is on a mission to get more people involved in this club. I mentioned recently that when Kay and the girls we went to the conference with had dinner they questioned how I could get into med school when I barely talked in the club.
Now, I don't get mad often. And by often I pretty much mean I don't let people see when I am upset. Unless you personally attack my integrity, and do so during a club meeting for that matter of fact.
About midway through drawing a smiley face on my hand,Ashley(spoiled one who is a 5th going on 6th year senior) goes on to talk about "members" of the group who don't volunteer and remain quiet and don't participate, and that the can't expect to go to med school if they aren't willing now to make the steps to becoming a doctor than they never will be, and aren't showing the club that they care.
I could have punched her in the face. My converse were aimed squarely at her to kick her in the shin. I mean seriously. This just erupts a whole frenzy of back and forth talk between Ashley and Mandy about "those" members who aren't putting in enough effort.
WTF. They make it seem as if this the club that is going to get me accepted into med school. This club, which has done nothing but take 90 dollars away from me to go on some stupid trip, is one big aggravation. I feel like my personal character was attacked. It's one thing to give me criticism that I can work on, but questioning my drive and ambition is like stepping over a line, I didn't know I had.
The whole time I was like "you....A 5th year senior...Who is embarking on a 6th year senior is telling me that I won't get into med school, because I choose not to talk to you."
I don't like being talked down to. Like in a condescending way. I mean I know I am young, and I play off of that a lot, but there are moments especially when it comes to succeeding that I don't take lightly. I do volunteer, and I do generally like taking care of people(even if I don't like people all the time), so when that is put into question, I do feel like I am being attack.
That they are basically saying that I am not giving 100 percent. When I feel that is all I have been doing. Just because I don't do it in that club, doesn't mean that I'm not doing it. When we got out of the meeting I was so...PISSED. I mean like literally, just so mad that I stormed out of the room and pouted in the corner, contemplating staying in the club. Oh and to top it off, the trip in April cost 90 bucks, but because I have a test, and a practice exam for Spanish on the days we have to leave, I had to get permission from my teachers first. Kay told Mandy my situation and Mandy said it was cool that I could pay on Monday(tonight).
So after the whole, what I perceive to be a personal attack, I go up to her and am about to pay my money;
ME: hey I have to pay you for the trip, my teacher says I can go, so here's the 90 I promised.
Mandy:[look likes she won't take my money] Well you are lucky I didn't send the money off yet[even though it's not due till March 1st, someone's special day *cough cough]
Me: didn't Kay call you and tell you my situation
Mandy[pause. Eye roll]: yeah, but it was due last Monday, if I would have sent it off you wouldn't be able to go. Go to her over there to get a receipt.
Me:[about to smack her face with my 20's] Alright.
Then she proceeds to go to a girl who just joined.
Mandy: hey I'm glad you came, did you hear about the big conference in April, just let me know if you can come, and you can pay me whenever
WHAT! I just got an eye roll, while she gets to pay whenever. F that.
So Kay says that the reason I am feeling so pissed about the whole thing, results from my guilt in not feeling like they see who I really am.
Maybe. Or maybe I don't feel like being apart of a club that questions my intentions.
There's where the dilemma lies. I mean right now I'm pissed, I feel like I want to take back my 90 dollars, shove a converse up someone's...Well you know where, and retreat back into my cave.
Or.
I can fight. Well not literally. Still drop out of the club, go to the trip, prove them all wrong, and come out victorious.
I feel like I'll be disappointing Kay. I feel like I'll be making some new enemies, but I don't feel comfortable going back to that club. I don't feel like being apart of a team that questions my participation.
I don't know what to do.
I mean I know what to do, I just don't know if its right.
Beckett.
5 comments:
Basically all that club is good for is writing on your CV "Med school club." Its an applicable extra curricular. To be able to list it on your CV you just have to be a member. So, you're on the books, its on your CV, you've got maximum advantage out of it.
That being said, some crack smoking bitch talking down to you? Best her at what she is doing then tell her to fuck off.
don't drop out of the club; like X says, it's good for the CV, and going to conferences and stuff will be really good for you, especially once you started schmoozing it up at them (yeah, i know. but i'm sure you WILL eventually schmooze at a conference).
the world is full, FULL, of simple-minded self-important fuckballs. you seem to be in a club with several of them. My advice is to quietly go about your business and kick ass at what you do. you're shy, you're quiet, it doesn't make you a *bad* person.
That said, it won't hurt you to participate, to be maybe more vocal, etc. A well-placed intelligent remark here and there goes a VERY long way to putting these people in their places. I don't suggest becoming some sort of bubbly go-getter fool, but every once in awhile, making a brilliant suggestion, or even asking a good question, will prove that you're not just half-dead in the corner. Volunteering to take on a small task, and then doing it exceedingly well, will also shut them the fuck up.
and i'm sorry, but kay is full of shit - you're angry because they were rude and crappy and dismissive of your personality, not because of any guilt.
don't let them get to you; just prove through words and actions that you are THE BEST ONE THERE!!!! (because, of course, you are!)
I don't know much about getting into med school except that I somehow did. So I'll give you my two cents (sorry, stumbled upon your site via K and saw the post):
Background: I come from a school that has no grades, no pre-med program to speak of (ie none), and few to no volunteer opportunities for medically related stuff in the area. And guess what? I got into med school.
So there are ways around this other than submitting to the derisive beratement of self-righteous pricks. CV items are nice, but don't feel guilty about not doing anything for it, especially if they marginalize you. Just say you're a member and move on.
The reality of the situation is that if your grades are decent and you do well on the MCATs (let's say a minimum of about 25 to get into even the most rudimentary med school) and show that you have any personality whatsoever (I know, hard to believe for most pre-meds), you'll be fine. Lots of med schools are focusing on elements that make a person unique and able to think on his or her own. The type of people who live and breathe pre-med clubs are generally a dime a dozen: same types of applications, same types of volunteer experience. They think they have to do this to get in, not realizing that they'd have infinitely better chances if they just showed themselves as being interesting, talented individuals without all the sucking up. I mean, maybe that's only speaking for Wisconsin, but that seems to be my experience.
My advice: do your CV credential things, but don't get hung up on them. Instead really explore items that will make you seem stronger in other areas: community building, extracurricular leadership, exploring arts or sports, that kind of thing. Research experience is also a HUGE asset, so I would definitely recommend that. This is all stuff that makes you seem like a human being and not a medical drone. Because otherwise you're going to be miserable. And while I can't guarantee an admission to a medical school, I'd say you'd be in pretty good shape if you just showed yourself to be active and a leader in any context coupled with good academics.
Not that you probably care about anything I have to say. I'm just avoiding my work and you are the unfortunate recipient of my procrastination.
And please keep in mind that most pre-med students basically blow. I'd stay away from most of them if you can help it. Because you'll REALLY have to deal with them when you get to medical school, so you might as well enjoy college for now.
Thank you all for the advice, i was pretty torn about the whole situation.
Hey Beckett, seems like you already got enough good advice. As usual I'm a day late and a dollar short. But I'm sad you took down your post from yesterday with the Langston Hughes short story. I read two lines and thought, this is good stuff...I'll finish it later. But later never came...sniff, sniff. I guess I'll scour the web for it.
BTW, my two cents about the club thing is (1) That Mandy chick is a bitch. You should totally try to be her friend and get on her good side if you intend to stay in the club. No good can come of pissing off bitches. And (2) Join a different med club if you can.
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