The most beautiful words i have ever heard....

"absoultley not", simple, to the point, and that almost made me cry.

College, though it is a place full of many diverse people, new challenges, and experiences that we will hold with us forever, there is just plan wackos out in the world, who wish to cloud our short time here with rhetoric.

These past weeeks there have been many religious fanatics around the campus. Only on Thursday they come in throve. Stackinng there claim on a corner, handing out pamphelts, holding up there signs, that we are all doomed to hell,except them of course. One guy was holding up at sign, saying in simple turns that we shouldn't get an education because the only true words are those written in the bible. I don't care if you are religous but i do care when you throw it in people's faces. Now i am not religious, but i know that i am a good person, and am not going to burn for getting an education or because i don't claim any faith.

Anyway, today i was walking to European history class, and notice this huge board with

Don't have Sex
Be Pure
Only Abstinence will save you

Pure crap. Next to all that poster was like 5 more talking about abortion and sodomy. It was insane. They had this big purple van, these posters perched up against it, and handing out whatever. My mouth was agape. Everyone pretty much ignored them, some people try to pick a verbal fight with them, but calmly they answer back and out of frustration the kid leaves. Some people picked the pamphelts out of just taking something, others just walked past. So there was a girl behind me, and the man with the sodomy pamphelts damning everyone but himself to hell was going to give one to her.

Evil dude: "DO you want one."
Girl:Are you kidding me...absolutely not.

I almost cried, it' s so hard seeing the world still filled with uneeded hate, and that there is a notion that we can't live life fully for our happiness. That eveything we do is wrong, and we are going to be damned for it. And though people ignored, or just took the pamphelt the fact that she said "absoluetly not" gives me hope that eveyone will see that our main goal is to achieve happiness in the world, to not take it so seriously and condem eveyone who doens't live up to this impossible biblical ideal. We can live up to who we are, doesn't matter about who or how we love, but what make out of this life. That is hard enough. Of course we can't do anything( i don't think) about them invading our campus, but they are kind of invading our space.

In other news:

Hopefully i will be going home tomorrow. I am so drained out of my mind.

I think my English teacher is starting to notice that i talk much in class. It's not that i don't have anything enlightening to say. It's just that i'm starting to figure out that i express myself better in writing then in speech. Today she was calling on all the quiet people to answer questions. Seeing that i sit in the front seat i couldn't shrink in my seat hoping i would just fade in the back. She didn't call on me though and hopefully the content of my free writes let her know that i am paying attention though i don't speak in class.

I have always been like this, even in Speech class, i never spoke unless i was giving a speech. I mean i talked to my friends in class, but as soon as he walked in i became quiet as a mouse. Such was the case last semester in English 101. I had an extremely nice teacher, he was pretty young, but made the class interesting. He too noticed that i didn't talk much, but when we did free writes he would comment on my writing and i think that makes the teachers like me, and why they don't really care if i don't speak that much in class, because I make it up with my writing.

It's not that can't completely express myself in speech, i am just more truthful in writing. When i do egage in conversations it's always this awkward girl, cursing under her breath in between sentences. It's hilarious on my part. Cause i'm real soft spoken and then accidently drop an F- bomb to fill in the convultedness of my speech. Everyone i do it in front of thinks it's funny. I just can't seem to express my emotion about things when talking to people, becausei feel my emotion will instantly be critized and have no merit. I'm so passionate about things that i feel like it's bursting through my pores, but i don't know how to express it in words, so i leave it for writing.

"Home is where i wanted to go"
I know tomorrow i will be extremely impatient during my classes tomorrow. I will be looking at my clock like crazy until 12:45.

On Monday i am going to meet the set designer for the movie. She wants to know all the ideas i have. Which are none at this point. I don't know if she knows that i've never done this before. So i have to come up with some idea of what certain shots should look like, i guess i should read the script once more through.

I'm not dropping Chemistry, i mean i didn't do so hott on the test, but i fight for everything else, i guess i should fight for at least a B in this class. My partner showed up for lab, though she still may be the worst partner in that class because of her flightiness. I just have to push myself, and if i want to pass, then i do whatever it takes to do so. Study more, go to the Library, get help from a tutor. Who knows.

I may not write till Sunday. So i'm trying to squezze everything in cause i know when i'm home, my mom is going to try to squezze everything we can possibly do in 2 days. She says she has empty nest syndrome, because we are extremely close and i guess it's still a little rough that i'm not there with her even though i have been going to school since last january. I miss being home too though, so i'm also going to squezze all the time out of them that i can also.

Until Sunday

Beckett A. Hughes