Trapped in A Corner...

is where i have been for the last 50 minutes. Well right now i'm not in the corner, and safely back in my domain called my room, but i was literally in a corner, sitting down, hiding.

So that film club that i am in is held every sunday. Though if you go to three meetings you are a member of the group. My third meeting was last sunday, but because shooting for the film is taking place later next week, i thought it may be important to go to the meeting even though i didn't want to. And by not wanting to, i mean it was 5:55 of my telling myself to go to this meeting before i left the room and walked slowly to the building.

Now usually i will see a few members of the meeting sitting out in the hallway, but after they notice a few more members have come to the meeting they will all go to this meeting room down the hall. So when i saw them sitting in the big hallway, i thought nothing of it and walked not to the meeting room, but further to the window until i heard voices of the members gathering in the room, like i usually do . Not Today.

As i sat in my new favorite corner, looking out the window and hearing various music from ii guess another group meeting, i started to notice that no one was coming. At 6: 15, after i had nearly dozed off it was apparent to me that maybe the meeting was now in the hallway. But by then, going back and being like "oh, my bad" would be a little embarassing and just draw attention to me. So i decided that i would leave and just go back to my room. NOT THE CASE. The exit that was near me, was a fire exit and opening the door would set off an alarm in the whole 4 story building. The only exits where the ones convienentally locating near my group. Which would mean i would have to pass them to leave the building, which by then would seem weird and embarassing b/c then it would apparent that i was a) leaving and b) bypassed them and had waited like an idiot for the meeting to start.

Thus, my seat in the corner, which i was located at for 50 MIN. yes that's 50 whole minutes that i spent in a corner almost pulling my hair out because there was no exit. Must have been the funniest sight to see from someone else's perspective, because the scenerio is almost comical. Next after spending 15 minutes in the corner, i decide to try and sneak my way past them. I was wearing a jacket, so i took it off and stuffed it in my bookbag, i ruffled my hair as much as humanly possible and i took a book to possibly shield my face. As soon as i made it to the door, right before entering the other hallway to see them, i chickened out, and ditched into the same bathroom that i was in last week.

After trying to amuse myself by tap dancing and thinking of how in the movies they have a shute in the bathroom that is somehow an exit route, i decided to leave the stink hole called the bathroom and return to my corner. There was another group having a meeting because i could hear them from my corner, i figured that when they left as a group , i would somehow blend in with them and walk on out, so the waiting game took place. I called my mom,but she didn't answer, so then i decided to do some homework. Eventually she called and as soon as she called the group began to leave the meeting room, so i rushed as close as i could to them without looking creepy and made a beline for the stairs. I never felt so relieved in all my life. Maybe i am a little anti-social and maybe i do have anxiety when it comes to big crowds, maybe this group just isn't for me.

I mean i love writing. And i love movies, and i have written scripts. But i don't like the confinds of having to present my idea to the group, them vote on if they want to make it a movie, then see if John, Dick, Jane, Harry, and Sue want to help me yadda yadda yadda. I just like writing, i like there being no time limit, i like my stories and i don't feel like this group is for me. Maybe it's a cop out, maybe it's me not compromising my creative devices to a bunch of college kids who write about weird things. But i like what i'm doing now with my writing, i don't feel this great need to express it with them. Of course i thought of all of this while i was in my corner. It was a very nice corner, with a view and everything. Quiet, watch the birds, maybe i'll even turn my awkward social moment of the past event into a short.

I still have to see that lady tomorrow about set dressing for the movie. I still want to do it but just have no idea what i am doing.