i' m an agnostic. Straight up and down, agnostic. I don't like organized religon and futhermore i dislike immensly bible-thumpers. I think it is uncalled for for people to wear there religon on their sleeve, and then pressure me about why i don't believe. I dislike hypocrits and that is why i am not religous. My mom on the other hand is. She just got into the whole thing about 10 years ago, and out of respect to her, my brother and i went to church with her. I have always felt misplaced there. Like we are all a bunch of sinners just sitting in some buildig hoping for redemption when we don't deserve it.
The only other time i went to church was when i was about 7, and i had a crush on the preacher who drove around in this big van recruiting kids from the neighborhood to join a chruch that was youth driven. My brother and cousin went first and even then i was like "i'm not going!" That was until i saw the preacher, and then it all changed. He was hott, i mean my standard of hot. He was tall, slim, wore glasses, but had an amazing face. After that i was like "where do i sign up". To join the church we had to have a one on one with the preacher. I was so excited. We went to the church and sat in the pupils. It was dim in there, light coming from the stained windows. We took a seat towards the front. My heart was racing, he was very respectable and went over giving myself to god(when the only thing i was thinking of was giving myself to him), it was surreal the two of us in an empty church hands on a bible lying to this preacher that i would give myself to god and this church. Yeah right? I began the best little church girl you eve did see. I was in the choir(can't sing), handed out panphlets (we just left about 100 on one car and booked) and attending bible study. Though i had an pretty good reading level, because of my age they stuck me with kids who i don't even think knew how to spell their name, so since i was always the first one to finish the assignment, i got to leave early. I would head up to the church (bible study was in the basement), and watch him prepar his sermon. I was infatuated with him. As with most things it must come to an end, i found out that he was married. And i decided to not be a member of the church
Now i'm not saying that my whole views developed from this experience, but somedays my mom ask me and my brother to go to church with her. It is the most awful experience ever. It's like a cult, everyone is enthralled by some dude speaking from his book, and yadda yadda yadda. But going to church i seem to get thoughts of just like corrupting the hott men in there or something. It's weird,i am a virgin, blah blah blah. But out of the two times my mom had asked me to go to church in the last 6 years, i am like a huntress, searching the crowd for anyone my age, and i just want to corrupt him. Be his seductress that makes him question all that he has known and had faith in. it's perverse really. But if i was a seductress it would be fun.
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