Why i am i a scared piece of shit. If i had someone here who was a friend and who i could talk to while the RA's drown on about whatever, then mayvbe i wouldn't have ditched the Building meeting. The last thing i want to do is be in a place with bunch of people who seem to quickly attach themselves to a closest pleasant face they see. I am shoved in the corner looking quite pathetic and meek, and quiet. So instead of staying, i gave them the slip. Pretending like i had a phone call and walking away checking behind me to see if any one spotted my move. And if by anyone i mean my RA who caught me the first time i tried to escape unsuccessfully.
I'm just not good with those things. Introducing ourselves and pretending like we are going to be a happy lively family in a community of kids who will most likey drink, party and not give a damn about the rules. I hear doors they a) must be back b) other people who ditched the meeting. Especially why should i be there, when i am looking for an apartment tomorrow(which would solve my money problems and keep my mom out of the poor house). Am i a coward, maybe. But a coward who is watching the simpsons right now then at the building meeting. Who has a building meeting anyway? When does a whole building have a meeting?
Oh...and i saw the boy i had a crush on last year at the meeting. Which made me want to leave even more. i seem to stick out like a sore thumb because of my height(short) and my ever more adolescent looks. So the thought of me having to say my name and major and blah blah blah made me not a very happy camper. He is so cute though, and at least i know he lives in one of these buildings. Anyway...i must get better at this...Meeting people without my reservations about them being negative. I need friends, i mean everyone needs friends. Right?
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