Well i tried, and it didn't work out. I mean i don't know if it could have worked out because my mom didn't want to take the risk of me not getting approved for an amount needed to keep in my room.
To say i was sad would be an understatment...devastated is more like it. Crushed, hurts so bad it tops hurting and just leaves you numb. I know this probably doesn't seem like a thing to get all worked up about. But i'm sick of it never working out. And i think is more tramuatizing then losing my room.
So tomorrow, for who knows how many times, i will to walk out of something i was beginning to like. Like the three year old replica of me, i will look back for the last time on something i wanted to work so bad and didn't.
I don't understand. If there is a God i must have pissed him or her off along the way, and this is payback for all the "in names" i use. It's funny how i only talk about God and religon when i'm am totally pissed. Like his or her only purpose is to be a venting post.
I'm going to enjoy my last night in here. I'm going to enjoy the silence, cause that's what people don't appreciate,and maybe why i don't have a lot of friends, cause sometimes people just don't enjoy the silence. Sometimes they forget that it is those moments, in the comfort of your own place that you can truly be content. I'm going to miss that the most.
Miss watching tv til 1 0'clock, miss being messy, miss talking out loud as i write these words. and dancing.
I won't miss the roaches, but i will miss everything else.
I'm okay i think.
5 comments:
I also enjoy the silence
it's pleasant isn't it.
chin up babe... you never know. it could work out wonderfully... your new roomate could be a kindred spirit of sorts. try to find the brightside... i know it's hard but you'll be ok.
ah silence. maybe you'll get one of those ultra-involved roommates with a boyfriend with his own place, and she'll never be around.
have you explored your student loan options? how about workstudy on campus? sounds like you're definitely tight for money and your family can't contribute that much - prime candidate for loans, grants, workstudy. go see a financial aid counselor on monday.
and treat yourself to something kind this weekend. take a good book to the mexican cafe, go to the arthouse theatre, do something just for you.
is that photo really of you? if not, who is it?
Silence can be great fun. Well, I like my noise, I just have a limit for other peoples.
It's funny, when you say God's name "in vain" that is usually when you need help anyway.
Post a Comment