I'm bugged out with my mom claiming that i need more friends. I could sense the worry in her voice, as she said "It's good to join clubs, you need to meet friends Beckett". It ain't easy, and perceptions about people can be heartbreaking.
Case in point the journal entry where i spilt soda on my phone, and thinking that "cool" girl next door would help, turned out to be a complete bust. Friends are hard to come by. Sure you can meet anybody and start a conversation with them. But as soon as class, the moment, ect, has ended so has that connection.
Everyone i have "meet" has turned out to be a sort of disappointment. I feel that many people my age are just posers. Like you have to be apart of some scene to be even on the radar of "hey she's cool".
As i was walking down the street last semester, they had all these clubs promoting there clubs and stances on things. I was hounded by this one fanatic about saving something...but when i asked him a question about it, he knew nothing. Nothing at all about it.
So i don't wear black clothing, and wear depression on my sleeve. Doesn't mean i don't like NIN. Metallica. Coldplay(hey they are a good group).
Just because i don't walk around with a pulitzer wining novel, doesn't mean i don't like to indulge in some Vonnegut.
I like movie trivas, and watching America's Next Top Model. I like Traveling, road tips, and having fun. I like coffee, staying up late, and a occasional trip to I-Hop.
I just don't meet friends. Not at all. Not ones who aren't posers, who can think for themselves, and are not concieted. WHERE ARE YOU? seriously. I'm so sick of it, of not having any...but i don't find people who i connect. All i see is people me age concerned about clothes, cars, and money. That's not me
So if you are out there...my friend among all the stupid people i have meet. I'm so sorry we haven't meet yet. And i wish we could become friends. So then maybe my mom won't have to worry so much.
1 comment:
I think you didn't get the memo appropriately titled "Such is Life". Blame it on your complexity, there is no good answer "why" this happens to what seems like only a select few. I'm 10 years older than you and cursed with the same social disappointment. The dim light at the end of tunnel is that every so often you do end up meeting an awesome person where things click, and that friendship (however long it lasts) becomes worth all the crap in between.
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