I'm not feeling that great today.
I won't be living in a single room anymore, because my mom can't afford it.
So i will be moving in with a roomate(sorry i deleating the whole roommate blog, but it was so long and i didn't want that to be on this bolg)
I'm sad. And afraid, and dreading it.
I love how when i cry, my mom instantly gets mad at me. Like "suck up the tears"
I can't even glide the knife across my skin right.
Defeats the purpose doesn't it.
So now i just have all these scratch mark on my arms.
A reminder of how pathetic i am.
Of how i want to just be like them.,
Happy, smiling faces walking down the street, without a care.
They could be liars, hiding the pain.
But i'd rather be a liar at this point than a loner.
Beckett A. Hughes
2 comments:
Such a beautiful girl should be having the time of her life at 19! Try and find one thing in your life that you're really happy about and focus on that. Sometimes I focus on the fact that I'm average heighth and hate to read books.
i found you through "collections from life" a blog i read fairly regularily. i'm not sure if it's my place to say all this, but here goes anyways... sweetie, i know i don't know you but i've felt how you're feeling. trust me, please, you don' want to be like them. unique spirits such as yours make this world bearable. don't ever change. you are beautiful and brilliant and interesting. the sad days are tough, i know it, but they get easier with age. i'm 25 now and finally starting to feel like it's really ok to just be me, to not want to be like everyone else. you'll get there, it just takes time for you to learn to really love yourself. put the blades away. tell your mom to stop being so heartless and ask her to try and remember what it felt like to be 19 and afraid and alone. she's been there before. she shouldn't be so cold. you ever need someone to talk to, i'm all ears. sometimes it helps to get the perspective of a stranger. :)
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